To The Concerned Public

It has come to our attention speculations that Abstergo is obtaining genetic code know as DNA without consent of its owner. There has also been talk that we are building a secret DNA library without public notification or consent.

This is all false information; we at Abstergo adhere to strict rules and only obtain DNA or any other genetic information through extensive contracts that are signed willing by our generous volunteers. Depending on our work and the contract signed by our volunteer, we dispose of any genetic information obtained during testing once we are finished. We thank you for your patients while we sort this out, for more information please call our public relations desk.

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Antibiotic Resistance and the Animus

With the announcement of a-OS 4.0, Abstergo has been fielding a number of questions from the public, but the most common is why a company with a main focus on pharmaceutical development needs to explore the past in such great detail with the Animus.

Abstergo is committed to solving the toughest riddles in the medical community, with the most critical focus on eliminating antibiotic-resistant bacteria and super viruses.  We know that rapid DNA mutations within these types of bacteria and viruses are what cause them to be resistant to pharmaceutical treatment, and that finding a way to stop these mutations from occurring will be the key to eliminating them.  Our scientists believe that uncovering the source of a particular virus and tracking its progress throughout history will allow us to map its mutations and discover a pattern or common occurrence.  By tracking more than one at a time, we can see if there is a similar pattern that spreads across all mutations.  With the Animus, not only can we truly see history as it unfolds, but also retrieve accurate, first-hand data of the progress of human diseases.

Abstergo’s ultimate goal, however, is to develop a nanobot that can be administered to a patient orally in a pill.  Once in the patient’s system, it will be able to identify, track, study, and destroy any infection from a common cold to cancer!

Warning, please read!

Important message:

We advise all persons against the substance dihydrogen monoxide. This substance, which is also used in some of our medications, have the following side effects:

  • Also called ‘hydroxyl acid’, the substance is a major component of acid rain;
  • Contributes to soil erosion;
  • Contributes to the greenhouse effect;
  • Accelerates corrosion and breakdown of electrical equipment;
  • Excessive ingestion may cause various unpleasant effects;
  • Prolonged contact with its solid form results in severe tissue damage;
  • Inhalation, even in small quantities, may cause death;
  • Its gaseous form may cause severe burns;
  • It has been found in the tumors of terminal cancer patients;
  • Withdrawal by those addicted to the substance causes certain death within 168 hours;

Nevertheless, governments and corporations continue using it widely, heedless of its grave dangers.

New Product Line

Our Medicine and Drug Development team is proud to introduce a new product in the Abstergo lineup: Herne+!

You’ve seen those little breath freshener strips that are produced by our subsidiary companies, right?  Well, we asked, what if you could use something the size of a breath strip to boost your energy?  In today’s fast-paced world, everyone could use a little boost from time to time.  Energy drinks have hit a height of popularity, but it’s so inconvenient to have to carry around those odd-shaped cans.

But now, with Herne+, you get that energy boost you crave in a small enough package to fit in your pocket.  And it works in any drink!  Simply dissolve the strip into any container you drink out of!  Check out our new commercial still in development:

Herne+. Boost Your Everything.

Who is Abstergo? Part II: Current Products

“Who is Abstergo?” is a multi-part series of articles that explores the past, present, and plans for the future of Abstergo.  This series is being published to create an accurate public profile of the company, and to debunk the myths surrounding its creation and operations.

It’s hard to visit a pharmacy and find a product that doesn’t have the Abstergo logo on it!  Over the years, Abstergo has revolutionized the pharmaceutical world, having improved and manufactured ingredients in many household products.  Pain killers, cold and flu remedies, and sleep aides are among the common drugs that contain ingredients with the Abstergo brand.  But it certainly doesn’t end there.

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Who is Abstergo? – Part I: The History of Abstergo

“Who is Abstergo?” is a multi-part series of articles that explores the past, present, and plans for the future of Abstergo.  This series is being published to create an accurate public profile of the company, and to debunk the myths surrounding its creation and operations.

Abstergo was founded in 1937 by Frank A. Vanderlip, Paul Warburg, and Nelson Wilmarth Aldrich.  These men were able to apply the assembly line model – perfected by Henry Ford and Ransom “Ranny” Olds at that time – to the industry of pharmaceutical research and development.  The company was primary involved in R&D up until the end of World War II.  In an unfortunate turn of events, the company’s founders were found murdered, but their vision and ideas flourished.  Around this time, the pharmaceutical industry boomed with Abstergo leading the way, producing key ingredients for use in many readily available medicines.

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Testers Wanted

Abstergo Industries is looking for testers for a new drug to treat chronic fatigue.

We are looking for 50 testers, the experiment will run for 2-6 weeks.
Some of the tester will be administered a placebo.

The testers get $1260 each as payment. To take part in this test you must send us your documents, composed of curriculum vitae, copy of you identification card and health certificate.

Before you can start you will be fully examined to determine whether you suffer from any already existing disease or other abnormalities. During the testing process, you shall be examined once a week. Alcohol or other drugs are absolutely prohibited and will result in termination of your contract as well as not receiving your pay.

For legal reasons only candidates from the United States and Canada are accepted.
If you have questions about the test, please contact us at www.abstergo.org/testers or ask in the comments section below.